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"Well, the good news is I gave you a penis and a brain." OK.." said Adam warily. "And what's the bad news?" I only gave you enough blood to operate one at time."Why are men so bad at sex and driving?Because the bastards always pull out with no thought of who else might be coming.What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.How can you tell if a man is really well hung?When you can just slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.What do men and tights have in common?They're both apt to cling, run, and never fit properly between your legs.What is the real difference between men and women?A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.Why do men like smart, sexy women?Opposites attract.Why is psychoanalysis so much quicker for men than for women?Men don't need to be regressed back to their c***dhood.Why are well-dressed men always married?Because. “I won’t kiss you tonight, you know why. Fuck my mouth like this slut deserves before you send me back to Dan.” Laura got off her knees and brushed driveway dirt from her kneecaps. “I am going to go fuck my husband blind until he passes out.” “Then what?” “I am going to get Portrait down in front of my portrait and fuck and suck him before I go to bed.” “Tell me the final score Monday so I can tally your punishment.” “I love you; I will call tomorrow and be with you Monday.” Dan was waiting in bed for his kiss. Portrait, Dan and Laura had a leisurely brunch in the den with the fireplace burning. They talked of last night’s affair and then Portrait bid farewell. “Thank you for last night Baby, I appreciate you being here for me. Thank Greg too, for working out our disagreement.” “I will thank him Monday, for helping. Shall I thank him for anything else?” “That can be between us don’t you think?” “I love you Baby.” “What time are you leaving?” “I thought I should stay and clean up.” “I.
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